Communication skills does not mean one need to talk all the time, communication skills and abilities covers a wide range of repertoire from hmm to silence and all the factors from within and beyond those two elements.
The hmm…and the silence
Hmm…
In coaching conversations, sometimes the coach needs to use this non-verbal-cues to show his understanding of the client’s issue. The hmm in this context is not quizzical hmm but the hmm with the nod or haa.. or simply nodding the head. When the client talks to a coach, the coach needs to show that he understands, he cannot be saying I understand all the time, which might be irritating if overused. He needs to use it confidently and reassuringly to convey his comprehension of the situation.
Silence
Silence is a powerful tool in coaching. When used sincerely and intelligently gives the client space to breathe and think clearly. A coach must avoid stacking question as this will disrupt the client’s thinking process. Silence is must use tool in coaching.
There are a lot of communication points happen between the hmm and silence, for example:
· Eye contact
A coach needs to have good eye contact with the client to promote a sense of friendliness and attention. A professional eye-contact, not stare or glare and make the client feel uncomfortable. Our eyes say it all, whether we are focused, or our minds are wandering off.
· Facial expression
Smiling is key in all conversation settings. Know when to smile and where to smile. Do not smile unnecessarily throughout the conversation. Seriously this is very intimidating. Give a comforting smile after all the client comes to see you, smiling is a show of gratitude too.
· Sitting
The way the coach sits can give an alarming signal to clients as well. If the coach folds his legs, the client will feel that the coach is in control. The message that we want to deliver is the client is in control. We want the client to be the boss of his life.
· Voice and intonation
A coach must talk in a natural voice, not too loud and not too soft. The intonation is another important element that a coach must control. Too high a pitch may create uneasiness to the client while a nonchalant intonation may indicate that the coach is not interested in the client’s issues. All in all, if this is an effort to be learned, the coach must endeavour to learn it.
· Listening
Listening is the greatest skill for a coach. Listen to understand and never listen to respond. There are so many types of listening but the most important for a coach is to listen attentively and actively. Listening takes time.
· Questioning
Questioning is a very useful and powerful tool in coaching, in fact coaching is about questioning. It allows the coach–coachee relationship to develop, assist the coachee in strategies and actions.
o Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing is one of the communication skills a coach must know, simply saying a statement in a different manner to elicit confirmation.
o Summarising
Summarizing information ensures that both coach and coachee are clear about what has been discussed and any decisions that have been made.
Both paraphrasing and summarising provide opportunities for the coach to provide feedback to the client.
In other words, everything little things to others are most important elements to coaching conversations. Having said that, a coach must be able to make full use of himself and his entire conduct to promote coaching environment.
